![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
syrialaThis fic was inspired by this pic which I have lovingly dubbed 'soft bathing pic'. It's also what the story is about.
green beta'd this for me and she came up with the title so all the love to her <3
This story is over 3.6k long so you can either read read it here on AO3 or watch out for the cut.
“Shen Wei,” Zhao Yunlan whines, but Shen Wei gently steers him towards the bathroom.
“You’ll feel better afterwards,” Shen Wei promises and Zhao Yunlan groans.
“If you want me to shower so much, you can do it.”
Shen Wei freezes. This is not what he expected.
Shen Wei knows that Zhao Yunlan has to deal with his superiors, that he owes them explanations for what the SID did or didn’t do in the past year, but he has barely seen Zhao Yunlan in the past three days and he is beginning to worry.
He hasn’t heard of a new threat, there is no recent report of a Dixing-ian getting out and causing trouble, and Shen Wei would have been informed about that anyway since it is the duty of the Black Cloaked Envoy to bring stray Dixing-ians to justice.
But everything has been quiet these past few days. Too quiet, Shen Wei admits to himself, because he misses Zhao Yunlan’s ever-present voice.
Shen Wei is standing in the middle of Zhao Yunlan’s apartment, desperately searching for something to do. But since Zhao Yunlan hasn’t been home lately, he hasn't had a chance of undoing Shen Wei’s work. Everything is still as tidy as Shen Wei left it yesterday evening. Even the bed is still made, and Shen Wei worries about Zhao Yunlan’s sleep. He doesn’t get enough as it is; he can’t afford to lose even more sleep. Shen Wei already fears that the dark circles under Zhao Yunlan's eyes will be permanent.
Shen Wei turns towards the kitchen, but he has already prepared dinner, choosing dishes that can easily be put into the fridge should Zhao Yunlan not come home again this night, so there is nothing left to do there either. Everything is already bottled up and put away, because while Shen Wei’s heart holds out hope that Zhao Yunlan will come home tonight, his head knows better.
Just as Shen Wei wonders if he should do his paperwork in his own apartment or here, like he has in the past two days, the door opens and Zhao Yunlan stumbles in.
“I hoped you’d be here,” he mumbles instead of greeting Shen Wei like a normal person, shrugging his jacket off and letting it drop to the floor.
Shen Wei watches it with an exasperated sigh that even to his own ears sounds too fond, before he turns a questioning gaze at Zhao Yunlan.
“I tried your apartment first, but you weren’t home,” Zhao Yunlan explains, shuffling across the room towards Shen Wei.
When Zhao Yunlan reaches him, he leans against Shen Wei, resting his whole weight against him.
For a second Shen Wei doesn’t know what to do with his hands in face of this sudden closeness, but then he carefully settles them on Zhao Yunlan’s upper back. “What are you doing?” he asks, mindful not to dislodge Zhao Yunlan even as he adjusts his stance to support his weight better.
Zhao Yunlan lets out a content little sigh and almost melts against Shen Wei for a long, wonderful, torturous moment, before he moves away again.
“Now I can go to bed,” he mutters, rubbing his eyes, but Shen Wei stops him with a hand on his wrist.
“You should shower first,” Shen Wei softly admonishes him, and Zhao Yunlan deflates.
“I just spent three days explaining every little detail of every case we had in the past year to my superiors. I think I earned going to bed.”
“If you didn’t have time to sleep in the past three days, you didn’t have time to shower either,” Shen Wei says, and he is helpless against the smile that plays around his mouth at Zhao Yunlan’s pleading look.
“Shen Wei,” Zhao Yunlan whines, but Shen Wei gently steers him towards the bathroom.
“You’ll feel better afterwards,” Shen Wei promises and Zhao Yunlan groans.
“If you want me to shower so much, you can do it.”
Shen Wei briefly freezes in his steps, sure that he must have misheard what Zhao Yunlan said, but when Zhao Yunlan notices that he was no longer following him into the bathroom he tugs Shen Wei along.
“I’m too tired to stay upright in a shower and I’m definitely too tired to not drown in a bath. If you want me to be clean that much, you have to help,” Zhao Yunlan explains, and Shen Wei wishes he would turn around so he can read his facial expression.
“Zhao Yunlan, I don’t think—,” Shen Wei starts but is cut off when Zhao Yunlan turns around, a pleading expression on his face.
“Please? I’m just gonna fall asleep where I stand,” Zhao Yunlan says and Shen Wei knows he should say no, but he is always so weak where it concerns Zhao Yunlan.
“Fine,” he gives in, silently wondering if Zhao Yunlan is just playing up his tiredness in an attempt to get Shen Wei close. It wouldn’t be the first time he tried something like this.
But when Shen Wei steps closer he can see the utter exhaustion in every line on Zhao Yunlan’s face and so he doesn’t think twice about helping him undress.
Zhao Yunlan moves where Shen Wei directs him to without complaint and so his shirt is quickly discarded to the floor. Shen Wei feels the faint itch to pick it up again and bring it to the hamper, but he will have enough time to do that once Zhao Yunlan is in bed. Shen Wei keeps his gaze averted as best as he can, because for all the time he has spent in Zhao Yunlan’s apartment, taking care of him and tidying up, he has never seen him without his shirt, let alone completely undressed. It is a lot to take in all at once, Shen Wei can tell just from catching glimpses, but then he realizes that he is about to help Zhao Yunlan bathe and he should probably get used to looking at him right now.
So he drags his eyes over Zhao Yunlan’s upper body, absently noting that he could do with a little bit more weight, taking it all in and suppressing the urge to immediately touch him, before he remembers that there are still clothes left he should help him take off.
Shen Wei kneels down, undoing Zhao Yunlan’s laces, and he has to hide a small smile when he hears a cut off noise at that.
“Up,” Shen Wei orders with a small tug when the boot is ready to come off, and Zhao Yunlan leans forward to steady himself against Shen Wei’s shoulder as he lifts first his right and then the left foot so that Shen Wei can take off his boots and socks.
“Didn’t think this through,” Zhao Yunlan mutters when Shen Wei stands up again and quickly undoes the button of his jeans.
Shen Wei ducks his head to hide his amused expression, but when his gaze falls on his hands, which are still lingering on the button, he has to swallow.
Maybe Zhao Yunlan isn’t the only one who hasn’t thought this through.
But there is no turning back now; Zhao Yunlan has asked for his help and as long as he doesn’t tell him to stop, Shen Wei will always do everything he can for him.
Shen Wei hooks his thumbs underneath Zhao Yunlan’s jeans and underwear and drags both down in one go, gently tapping Zhao Yunlan’s leg when he is a little bit too slow to lift his foot.
Shen Wei averts his gaze as best as he can, but it is almost impossible to not at least catch a glimpse. And Shen Wei wants so much more.
He wants to look his fill, wants to touch until he gets tired of it; he wants to roam his hands over the so tantalizingly displayed skin. But that isn’t what Zhao Yunlan wants and it definitely isn’t what he needs. So Shen Wei pushes down the urge to reach out, he has some experience with that after all, and fixes his gaze on something that is safer, like Zhao Yunlan’s face.
Shen Wei still notices the faint shiver that runs through him, because noticing Zhao Yunlan is what Shen Wei is best at, sees the goosebumps springing up on his arms, and Shen Wei pushes him towards the bathtub with a gentle hand to his back.
Shen Wei starts the water and plugs the tub with a blatant misuse of his power, but he figures staying close to Zhao Yunlan and allowing him to not only lean on him, but also leech a little bit of his—albeit scarce—body heat is more important.
“You’re lucky there’s no one who monitors the use of your powers,” Zhao Yunlan mumbles, leaning heavily against Shen Wei.
“Are you complaining?” Shen Wei wants to know and Zhao Yunlan hums happily.
“Never,” he gives back, and Shen Wei has to duck his head again, desperate to try and hide his blush. It is still novel to him that Zhao Yunlan isn’t afraid of his powers.
Shen Wei quickly checks the temperature when they are close enough and then he nudges Zhao Yunlan.
“Get in.”
“You’re not going to leave, right?” Zhao Yunlan asks and clings to his arm. “It wasn’t a joke when I said I’d drown.”
“I’m not leaving,” Shen Wei promises and Zhao Yunlan nods once before he steps into the tub.
He lets out a satisfied groan when he sinks into the hot water and immediately sprawls back against the tub, his eyes closed with something close to bliss on his face.
Shen Wei wants to always see that expression on him. He wants to be the one who puts that expression there, makes it permanent, but before he can do anything that he will regret, he takes a deep breath and stops the water that is now reaching up to Zhao Yunlan’s chest.
“Don’t drown for a second,” Shen Wei says, resisting the urge to run his fingers through Zhao Yunlan’s hair, and turns away to find a washcloth.
“Shouldn’t leave me alone then,” Zhao Yunlan mutters, but when Shen Wei turns back around, cloth in his hand, his eyes are following Shen Wei’s every move.
“You really should lose that,” Zhao Yunlan says with a nod towards Shen Wei’s chest, indicating his suit jacket.
Shen Wei looks down on himself, realizing that Zhao Yunlan is probably right, but if he takes off the jacket it will only leave him with his shirt; stripping him yet again of another layer of his defenses. And Zhao Yunlan is already dangerously close to breaking all the way through. Shen Wei doesn’t know if he can do it.
“I’m not asking you to get naked with me,” Zhao Yunlan mutters when Shen Wei takes too long to respond, closing his eyes and turning his head away, though it did nothing to hide the odd tone in his voice. “I’m just asking you to not ruin your suit because of me.”
Shen Wei can’t help the image that springs up in his mind; one where he does get naked with Zhao Yunlan and slides into the bathtub behind him, cradling him close and keeping him safe. But it won’t happen and Shen Wei bans the image from his head.
“You’re probably right,” he admits after a long moment and Zhao Yunlan lazily grins up at him.
“When am I ever not?” he mutters, closing his eyes again and leaning back against the tub, completely relaxing into the hot water.
Shen Wei knows that he will fall asleep rather quickly, and while manhandling him while he is asleep would be no hardship for Shen Wei, he prefers to get Zhao Yunlan into bed before he is completely asleep.
So he shucks off his suit jacket, quickly rolling the sleeves of his shirt up and then he takes the shower head and puts the washcloth down in reaching distance.
He uses his powers to turn the water on again and aims the spray away from Zhao Yunlan until it has an acceptable temperature.
“Lean forward,” he gently instructs Zhao Yunlan, who sluggishly blinks at him and takes a little bit too long to get his body moving.
If Shen Wei doesn’t want him to fall asleep in the tub, he has to be quick and efficient about this.
When Zhao Yunlan is slumped forward, Shen Wei gently tilts his head back, his fingers under Zhao Yunlan’s chin, feeling the breath flutter in his throat and his pulse beating against his skin.
These are stolen moments, and Shen Wei hates himself a little bit for taking them like this, but he also can’t help himself. Zhao Yunlan is like a siren’s call to him and he never learned to resist him completely.
Shen Wei brings the shower head up, directing the spray onto Zhao Yunlan’s shoulders before he carefully wets his hair as well. He follows the flow of the water with his eyes, watches it sluice over Zhao Yunlan’s skin, and before he knows it he is trailing one finger down Zhao Yunlan’s spine, feeling every vertebra under the tip of his finger.
Zhao Yunlan really ought to eat more, Shen Wei decides and mentally runs through a list of hearty foods he can make him.
He is startled out of his thoughts when Zhao Yunlan lets out a content hum, and Shen Wei remembers what he’s supposed to do. He takes his hand off Zhao Yunlan, reaches for the shampoo before he puts a generous drop into Zhao Yunlan’s hair.
He puts the shower head back, letting the spray add to the water in the bathtub, and gets his hands into Zhao Yunlan’s hair, massaging his scalp as he works the shampoo into the hair. Zhao Yunlan trustingly tilts his head back, lets Shen Wei hold his head, and Shen Wei is yet again overwhelmed with the urge to get his hands on Zhao Yunlan in a different way than this innocent action.
He can picture himself leaning down, trailing kisses up the so beautifully exposed throat; he could tilt Zhao Yunlan’s head to the side to get better access, could slide his hands down Zhao Yunlan’s front, but he doesn’t. He can’t. He’s not allowed to do any of that.
Shen Wei mentally berates himself, and focuses back at the task at hand.
Once he deems Zhao Yunlan’s hair clean enough, he carefully washes the lather back out, mindful not to let anything get into Zhao Yunlan’s eyes.
He gets the body wash next, grateful for the barrier of the washcloth between his hand and Zhao Yunlan’s skin, because even like this he struggles to keep his movements short and perfunctory.
All he wants to do is caress Zhao Yunlan until he’s putty in his hands.
Shen Wei cleans the washcloth and wrings it out, before he washes the lather off Zhao Yunlan’s body.
He could spend another hour with Zhao Yunlan like this and it would be no hardship, but he deems him clean enough and going by the way Zhao Yunlan’s head lolls on his shoulders it’s high time for him to sleep.
Shen Wei shuts off the water and unplugs the bathtub before he gently grabs Zhao Yunlan under his elbow.
“Alright, up,” he says, ignoring the unhappy sound Zhao Yunlan makes when the warm water drains away.
“Can’t be done yet, I just got in,” Zhao Yunlan sleepily protests and Shen Wei chuckles.
“You’re done, I promise,” he tells him, unable to hide his smile when Zhao Yunlan narrows his eyes at him.
“Impossible,” he mutters. “Gotta have to do it again when I’m more awake.”
Shen Wei presses his lips together at that, reminding himself to not read too much into it, because Zhao Yunlan clearly isn’t at peak mental capacity.
Zhao Yunlan clumsily gets to his feet, leaning heavily into the hand Shen Wei still has on his elbow, and Shen Wei steadies him as he steps out of the bathtub.
Shen Wei quickly puts a towel over the toilet and drops Zhao Yunlan off there, as he searches for a second towel and the hair drier. The first is easy enough to find, and Shen Wei has to admit that he isn’t too surprised when he can’t locate the second. Zhao Yunlan seems like the reckless type who would rather risk a cold than own a hair dryer.
But without it, all Shen Wei can do is towel his hair dry as best as he can. He tries to be gentle about it, and Zhao Yunlan seems to rather enjoy it. Shen Wei wants to untangle his hair by brushing his fingers through it, but he stomps down on that urge and instead puts the towel around his shoulders and gets the hairbrush. He runs it through Zhao Yunlan’s soft strands, careful not to tug too hard, and he can tell that the motion is lulling Zhao Yunlan into sleep, even more so than the warmth of the bath did. Shen Wei stops the motion, even though he wants to keep going indefinitely, but getting Zhao Yunlan into bed takes precedence. He towels the rest of his body off, quick and efficient, Zhao Yunlan allowing himself to be moved like Shen Wei wants him to. Soon enough he’s dry, skin flushed a lovely shade of pink,and Shen Wei clenches his teeth.
He can’t do it, he reminds himself. Can’t just trail his lips over the flush, as if he has every right to it. Instead he takes a step back and pulls Zhao Yunlan up.
Shen Wei guides him out of the bathroom, glad to see Zhao Yunlan’s sleeping clothes on his bed.
“Time for you to sleep,” Shen Wei tells him and Zhao Yunlan eyes him curiously.
“You’re not going to insist that I eat first?”
“I put the food I prepared into the fridge. It will keep.”
“Ah, Xiao Wei, Xiao Wei, you really are too perfect for me,” Zhao Yunlan mutters under his breath and Shen Wei’s stomach does a funny thing at hearing that nickname.
“Nonsense,” he brusquely says and sits Zhao Yunlan down on the bed. “Can you dress yourself?” he wants to know, and Zhao Yunlan tilts his head in consideration.
“No,” he finally decides, and Shen Wei suppresses a sigh. He really doesn’t make it easy on him.
“I’m not your nanny,” Shen Wei scolds him, half-heartedly at best and Zhao Yunlan’s eyes spark, despite the tiredness in them.
“No, you’re definitely not,” he gives back, and Shen Wei ducks his head again, busying himself with grabbing Zhao Yunlan’s sleeping shirt.
“Arms,” he instructs, and does not feel a rush of warmth go through him when Zhao Yunlan obeys him without hesitation. He slides his arms into the sleeves, tugs the shirt down and over his head, and once it’s settled on Zhao Yunlan, he reaches for the pants.
Shen Wei gracefully kneels, desperately ignoring that there are many other things he could be doing in this position as he slides Zhao Yunlan’s feet into the pants.
“Up,” he says, but Zhao Yunlan is moving almost before Shen Wei voiced his command and he’s quick to tug the pants up.
Zhao Yunlan is not helping him at all, amusement clear in his face, before it’s all washed away when he has to yawn.
“Go get some sleep,” Shen Wei says and pushes Zhao Yunlan back down on the bed, still gentle, always gentle with Zhao Yunlan, but not allowing any resistance.
Zhao Yunlan flops down as if all his strings have been cut and Shen Wei wrestles the blanket out from under him, leaning over him in a way that would make it so easy to lean down and press a soft kiss to his full lips.
Instead Shen Wei just tucks him in, securing the blanket around Zhao Yunlan. Zhao Yunlan has his gaze on him, Shen Wei can tell, but he tries to ignore it as best as he can.
“There is one more thing you can do for me,” Zhao Yunlan sleepily mumbles, and Shen Wei bites his tongue to not let the ‘Always’ spill out. Zhao Yunlan doesn’t need to know that.
“What?” he asks, but his tone is softer than he has intended, even he can tell.
“Come to bed with me,” Zhao Yunlan says and grabs Shen Wei’s hand when he pulls away in surprise.
“Zhao Yunlan—,” Shen Wei starts, but he doesn’t really know where he’s going with the sentence. There is nothing he wants to do more than join Zhao Yunlan in bed, and with the pleading gaze fixed on him, he can’t remember the myriads of reasons why he shouldn’t.
“Please,” Zhao Yunlan adds when Shen Wei stays frozen with indecision for too long, and Shen Wei deflates.
There is nothing he wouldn’t do for Zhao Yunlan.
“Scoot over,” Shen Wei instructs as he bends down to undo his laces, almost kicking off his shoes with impatience, and going by the amused look on Zhao Yunlan’s face, he will be teased about this mercilessly later.
Zhao Yunlan makes space for him in the bed, and Shen Wei only hesitates for a second before he slides under the covers. He doesn’t know how he will keep the proper distance between them after this, but when Zhao Yunlan pulls him close by his waist, rests his head on Shen Wei’s shoulder and presses a lingering kiss to his throat, he figures maybe he doesn’t have to.
“Wanted to have you here for a long time,” Zhao Yunlan mutters, sleep clearly already tugging at him and Shen Wei hides his helpless smile in his hair.
“All you had to do was ask,” he tells him lowly, gathering him closer in his arms and reveling in the way Zhao Yunlan goes boneless against him.
Shen Wei closes his eyes, concentrating on the weight of Zhao Yunlan half on top of him, his warmth seeping in against his side, the soft sound of his breaths tickling the skin at his throat. For the first time in way too long, Shen Wei feels at peace.
He doesn’t know who drifts off first but they both do it with a smile on their faces.
green beta'd this for me and she came up with the title so all the love to her <3This story is over 3.6k long so you can either read read it here on AO3 or watch out for the cut.
“Shen Wei,” Zhao Yunlan whines, but Shen Wei gently steers him towards the bathroom.
“You’ll feel better afterwards,” Shen Wei promises and Zhao Yunlan groans.
“If you want me to shower so much, you can do it.”
Shen Wei freezes. This is not what he expected.
Shen Wei knows that Zhao Yunlan has to deal with his superiors, that he owes them explanations for what the SID did or didn’t do in the past year, but he has barely seen Zhao Yunlan in the past three days and he is beginning to worry.
He hasn’t heard of a new threat, there is no recent report of a Dixing-ian getting out and causing trouble, and Shen Wei would have been informed about that anyway since it is the duty of the Black Cloaked Envoy to bring stray Dixing-ians to justice.
But everything has been quiet these past few days. Too quiet, Shen Wei admits to himself, because he misses Zhao Yunlan’s ever-present voice.
Shen Wei is standing in the middle of Zhao Yunlan’s apartment, desperately searching for something to do. But since Zhao Yunlan hasn’t been home lately, he hasn't had a chance of undoing Shen Wei’s work. Everything is still as tidy as Shen Wei left it yesterday evening. Even the bed is still made, and Shen Wei worries about Zhao Yunlan’s sleep. He doesn’t get enough as it is; he can’t afford to lose even more sleep. Shen Wei already fears that the dark circles under Zhao Yunlan's eyes will be permanent.
Shen Wei turns towards the kitchen, but he has already prepared dinner, choosing dishes that can easily be put into the fridge should Zhao Yunlan not come home again this night, so there is nothing left to do there either. Everything is already bottled up and put away, because while Shen Wei’s heart holds out hope that Zhao Yunlan will come home tonight, his head knows better.
Just as Shen Wei wonders if he should do his paperwork in his own apartment or here, like he has in the past two days, the door opens and Zhao Yunlan stumbles in.
“I hoped you’d be here,” he mumbles instead of greeting Shen Wei like a normal person, shrugging his jacket off and letting it drop to the floor.
Shen Wei watches it with an exasperated sigh that even to his own ears sounds too fond, before he turns a questioning gaze at Zhao Yunlan.
“I tried your apartment first, but you weren’t home,” Zhao Yunlan explains, shuffling across the room towards Shen Wei.
When Zhao Yunlan reaches him, he leans against Shen Wei, resting his whole weight against him.
For a second Shen Wei doesn’t know what to do with his hands in face of this sudden closeness, but then he carefully settles them on Zhao Yunlan’s upper back. “What are you doing?” he asks, mindful not to dislodge Zhao Yunlan even as he adjusts his stance to support his weight better.
Zhao Yunlan lets out a content little sigh and almost melts against Shen Wei for a long, wonderful, torturous moment, before he moves away again.
“Now I can go to bed,” he mutters, rubbing his eyes, but Shen Wei stops him with a hand on his wrist.
“You should shower first,” Shen Wei softly admonishes him, and Zhao Yunlan deflates.
“I just spent three days explaining every little detail of every case we had in the past year to my superiors. I think I earned going to bed.”
“If you didn’t have time to sleep in the past three days, you didn’t have time to shower either,” Shen Wei says, and he is helpless against the smile that plays around his mouth at Zhao Yunlan’s pleading look.
“Shen Wei,” Zhao Yunlan whines, but Shen Wei gently steers him towards the bathroom.
“You’ll feel better afterwards,” Shen Wei promises and Zhao Yunlan groans.
“If you want me to shower so much, you can do it.”
Shen Wei briefly freezes in his steps, sure that he must have misheard what Zhao Yunlan said, but when Zhao Yunlan notices that he was no longer following him into the bathroom he tugs Shen Wei along.
“I’m too tired to stay upright in a shower and I’m definitely too tired to not drown in a bath. If you want me to be clean that much, you have to help,” Zhao Yunlan explains, and Shen Wei wishes he would turn around so he can read his facial expression.
“Zhao Yunlan, I don’t think—,” Shen Wei starts but is cut off when Zhao Yunlan turns around, a pleading expression on his face.
“Please? I’m just gonna fall asleep where I stand,” Zhao Yunlan says and Shen Wei knows he should say no, but he is always so weak where it concerns Zhao Yunlan.
“Fine,” he gives in, silently wondering if Zhao Yunlan is just playing up his tiredness in an attempt to get Shen Wei close. It wouldn’t be the first time he tried something like this.
But when Shen Wei steps closer he can see the utter exhaustion in every line on Zhao Yunlan’s face and so he doesn’t think twice about helping him undress.
Zhao Yunlan moves where Shen Wei directs him to without complaint and so his shirt is quickly discarded to the floor. Shen Wei feels the faint itch to pick it up again and bring it to the hamper, but he will have enough time to do that once Zhao Yunlan is in bed. Shen Wei keeps his gaze averted as best as he can, because for all the time he has spent in Zhao Yunlan’s apartment, taking care of him and tidying up, he has never seen him without his shirt, let alone completely undressed. It is a lot to take in all at once, Shen Wei can tell just from catching glimpses, but then he realizes that he is about to help Zhao Yunlan bathe and he should probably get used to looking at him right now.
So he drags his eyes over Zhao Yunlan’s upper body, absently noting that he could do with a little bit more weight, taking it all in and suppressing the urge to immediately touch him, before he remembers that there are still clothes left he should help him take off.
Shen Wei kneels down, undoing Zhao Yunlan’s laces, and he has to hide a small smile when he hears a cut off noise at that.
“Up,” Shen Wei orders with a small tug when the boot is ready to come off, and Zhao Yunlan leans forward to steady himself against Shen Wei’s shoulder as he lifts first his right and then the left foot so that Shen Wei can take off his boots and socks.
“Didn’t think this through,” Zhao Yunlan mutters when Shen Wei stands up again and quickly undoes the button of his jeans.
Shen Wei ducks his head to hide his amused expression, but when his gaze falls on his hands, which are still lingering on the button, he has to swallow.
Maybe Zhao Yunlan isn’t the only one who hasn’t thought this through.
But there is no turning back now; Zhao Yunlan has asked for his help and as long as he doesn’t tell him to stop, Shen Wei will always do everything he can for him.
Shen Wei hooks his thumbs underneath Zhao Yunlan’s jeans and underwear and drags both down in one go, gently tapping Zhao Yunlan’s leg when he is a little bit too slow to lift his foot.
Shen Wei averts his gaze as best as he can, but it is almost impossible to not at least catch a glimpse. And Shen Wei wants so much more.
He wants to look his fill, wants to touch until he gets tired of it; he wants to roam his hands over the so tantalizingly displayed skin. But that isn’t what Zhao Yunlan wants and it definitely isn’t what he needs. So Shen Wei pushes down the urge to reach out, he has some experience with that after all, and fixes his gaze on something that is safer, like Zhao Yunlan’s face.
Shen Wei still notices the faint shiver that runs through him, because noticing Zhao Yunlan is what Shen Wei is best at, sees the goosebumps springing up on his arms, and Shen Wei pushes him towards the bathtub with a gentle hand to his back.
Shen Wei starts the water and plugs the tub with a blatant misuse of his power, but he figures staying close to Zhao Yunlan and allowing him to not only lean on him, but also leech a little bit of his—albeit scarce—body heat is more important.
“You’re lucky there’s no one who monitors the use of your powers,” Zhao Yunlan mumbles, leaning heavily against Shen Wei.
“Are you complaining?” Shen Wei wants to know and Zhao Yunlan hums happily.
“Never,” he gives back, and Shen Wei has to duck his head again, desperate to try and hide his blush. It is still novel to him that Zhao Yunlan isn’t afraid of his powers.
Shen Wei quickly checks the temperature when they are close enough and then he nudges Zhao Yunlan.
“Get in.”
“You’re not going to leave, right?” Zhao Yunlan asks and clings to his arm. “It wasn’t a joke when I said I’d drown.”
“I’m not leaving,” Shen Wei promises and Zhao Yunlan nods once before he steps into the tub.
He lets out a satisfied groan when he sinks into the hot water and immediately sprawls back against the tub, his eyes closed with something close to bliss on his face.
Shen Wei wants to always see that expression on him. He wants to be the one who puts that expression there, makes it permanent, but before he can do anything that he will regret, he takes a deep breath and stops the water that is now reaching up to Zhao Yunlan’s chest.
“Don’t drown for a second,” Shen Wei says, resisting the urge to run his fingers through Zhao Yunlan’s hair, and turns away to find a washcloth.
“Shouldn’t leave me alone then,” Zhao Yunlan mutters, but when Shen Wei turns back around, cloth in his hand, his eyes are following Shen Wei’s every move.
“You really should lose that,” Zhao Yunlan says with a nod towards Shen Wei’s chest, indicating his suit jacket.
Shen Wei looks down on himself, realizing that Zhao Yunlan is probably right, but if he takes off the jacket it will only leave him with his shirt; stripping him yet again of another layer of his defenses. And Zhao Yunlan is already dangerously close to breaking all the way through. Shen Wei doesn’t know if he can do it.
“I’m not asking you to get naked with me,” Zhao Yunlan mutters when Shen Wei takes too long to respond, closing his eyes and turning his head away, though it did nothing to hide the odd tone in his voice. “I’m just asking you to not ruin your suit because of me.”
Shen Wei can’t help the image that springs up in his mind; one where he does get naked with Zhao Yunlan and slides into the bathtub behind him, cradling him close and keeping him safe. But it won’t happen and Shen Wei bans the image from his head.
“You’re probably right,” he admits after a long moment and Zhao Yunlan lazily grins up at him.
“When am I ever not?” he mutters, closing his eyes again and leaning back against the tub, completely relaxing into the hot water.
Shen Wei knows that he will fall asleep rather quickly, and while manhandling him while he is asleep would be no hardship for Shen Wei, he prefers to get Zhao Yunlan into bed before he is completely asleep.
So he shucks off his suit jacket, quickly rolling the sleeves of his shirt up and then he takes the shower head and puts the washcloth down in reaching distance.
He uses his powers to turn the water on again and aims the spray away from Zhao Yunlan until it has an acceptable temperature.
“Lean forward,” he gently instructs Zhao Yunlan, who sluggishly blinks at him and takes a little bit too long to get his body moving.
If Shen Wei doesn’t want him to fall asleep in the tub, he has to be quick and efficient about this.
When Zhao Yunlan is slumped forward, Shen Wei gently tilts his head back, his fingers under Zhao Yunlan’s chin, feeling the breath flutter in his throat and his pulse beating against his skin.
These are stolen moments, and Shen Wei hates himself a little bit for taking them like this, but he also can’t help himself. Zhao Yunlan is like a siren’s call to him and he never learned to resist him completely.
Shen Wei brings the shower head up, directing the spray onto Zhao Yunlan’s shoulders before he carefully wets his hair as well. He follows the flow of the water with his eyes, watches it sluice over Zhao Yunlan’s skin, and before he knows it he is trailing one finger down Zhao Yunlan’s spine, feeling every vertebra under the tip of his finger.
Zhao Yunlan really ought to eat more, Shen Wei decides and mentally runs through a list of hearty foods he can make him.
He is startled out of his thoughts when Zhao Yunlan lets out a content hum, and Shen Wei remembers what he’s supposed to do. He takes his hand off Zhao Yunlan, reaches for the shampoo before he puts a generous drop into Zhao Yunlan’s hair.
He puts the shower head back, letting the spray add to the water in the bathtub, and gets his hands into Zhao Yunlan’s hair, massaging his scalp as he works the shampoo into the hair. Zhao Yunlan trustingly tilts his head back, lets Shen Wei hold his head, and Shen Wei is yet again overwhelmed with the urge to get his hands on Zhao Yunlan in a different way than this innocent action.
He can picture himself leaning down, trailing kisses up the so beautifully exposed throat; he could tilt Zhao Yunlan’s head to the side to get better access, could slide his hands down Zhao Yunlan’s front, but he doesn’t. He can’t. He’s not allowed to do any of that.
Shen Wei mentally berates himself, and focuses back at the task at hand.
Once he deems Zhao Yunlan’s hair clean enough, he carefully washes the lather back out, mindful not to let anything get into Zhao Yunlan’s eyes.
He gets the body wash next, grateful for the barrier of the washcloth between his hand and Zhao Yunlan’s skin, because even like this he struggles to keep his movements short and perfunctory.
All he wants to do is caress Zhao Yunlan until he’s putty in his hands.
Shen Wei cleans the washcloth and wrings it out, before he washes the lather off Zhao Yunlan’s body.
He could spend another hour with Zhao Yunlan like this and it would be no hardship, but he deems him clean enough and going by the way Zhao Yunlan’s head lolls on his shoulders it’s high time for him to sleep.
Shen Wei shuts off the water and unplugs the bathtub before he gently grabs Zhao Yunlan under his elbow.
“Alright, up,” he says, ignoring the unhappy sound Zhao Yunlan makes when the warm water drains away.
“Can’t be done yet, I just got in,” Zhao Yunlan sleepily protests and Shen Wei chuckles.
“You’re done, I promise,” he tells him, unable to hide his smile when Zhao Yunlan narrows his eyes at him.
“Impossible,” he mutters. “Gotta have to do it again when I’m more awake.”
Shen Wei presses his lips together at that, reminding himself to not read too much into it, because Zhao Yunlan clearly isn’t at peak mental capacity.
Zhao Yunlan clumsily gets to his feet, leaning heavily into the hand Shen Wei still has on his elbow, and Shen Wei steadies him as he steps out of the bathtub.
Shen Wei quickly puts a towel over the toilet and drops Zhao Yunlan off there, as he searches for a second towel and the hair drier. The first is easy enough to find, and Shen Wei has to admit that he isn’t too surprised when he can’t locate the second. Zhao Yunlan seems like the reckless type who would rather risk a cold than own a hair dryer.
But without it, all Shen Wei can do is towel his hair dry as best as he can. He tries to be gentle about it, and Zhao Yunlan seems to rather enjoy it. Shen Wei wants to untangle his hair by brushing his fingers through it, but he stomps down on that urge and instead puts the towel around his shoulders and gets the hairbrush. He runs it through Zhao Yunlan’s soft strands, careful not to tug too hard, and he can tell that the motion is lulling Zhao Yunlan into sleep, even more so than the warmth of the bath did. Shen Wei stops the motion, even though he wants to keep going indefinitely, but getting Zhao Yunlan into bed takes precedence. He towels the rest of his body off, quick and efficient, Zhao Yunlan allowing himself to be moved like Shen Wei wants him to. Soon enough he’s dry, skin flushed a lovely shade of pink,and Shen Wei clenches his teeth.
He can’t do it, he reminds himself. Can’t just trail his lips over the flush, as if he has every right to it. Instead he takes a step back and pulls Zhao Yunlan up.
Shen Wei guides him out of the bathroom, glad to see Zhao Yunlan’s sleeping clothes on his bed.
“Time for you to sleep,” Shen Wei tells him and Zhao Yunlan eyes him curiously.
“You’re not going to insist that I eat first?”
“I put the food I prepared into the fridge. It will keep.”
“Ah, Xiao Wei, Xiao Wei, you really are too perfect for me,” Zhao Yunlan mutters under his breath and Shen Wei’s stomach does a funny thing at hearing that nickname.
“Nonsense,” he brusquely says and sits Zhao Yunlan down on the bed. “Can you dress yourself?” he wants to know, and Zhao Yunlan tilts his head in consideration.
“No,” he finally decides, and Shen Wei suppresses a sigh. He really doesn’t make it easy on him.
“I’m not your nanny,” Shen Wei scolds him, half-heartedly at best and Zhao Yunlan’s eyes spark, despite the tiredness in them.
“No, you’re definitely not,” he gives back, and Shen Wei ducks his head again, busying himself with grabbing Zhao Yunlan’s sleeping shirt.
“Arms,” he instructs, and does not feel a rush of warmth go through him when Zhao Yunlan obeys him without hesitation. He slides his arms into the sleeves, tugs the shirt down and over his head, and once it’s settled on Zhao Yunlan, he reaches for the pants.
Shen Wei gracefully kneels, desperately ignoring that there are many other things he could be doing in this position as he slides Zhao Yunlan’s feet into the pants.
“Up,” he says, but Zhao Yunlan is moving almost before Shen Wei voiced his command and he’s quick to tug the pants up.
Zhao Yunlan is not helping him at all, amusement clear in his face, before it’s all washed away when he has to yawn.
“Go get some sleep,” Shen Wei says and pushes Zhao Yunlan back down on the bed, still gentle, always gentle with Zhao Yunlan, but not allowing any resistance.
Zhao Yunlan flops down as if all his strings have been cut and Shen Wei wrestles the blanket out from under him, leaning over him in a way that would make it so easy to lean down and press a soft kiss to his full lips.
Instead Shen Wei just tucks him in, securing the blanket around Zhao Yunlan. Zhao Yunlan has his gaze on him, Shen Wei can tell, but he tries to ignore it as best as he can.
“There is one more thing you can do for me,” Zhao Yunlan sleepily mumbles, and Shen Wei bites his tongue to not let the ‘Always’ spill out. Zhao Yunlan doesn’t need to know that.
“What?” he asks, but his tone is softer than he has intended, even he can tell.
“Come to bed with me,” Zhao Yunlan says and grabs Shen Wei’s hand when he pulls away in surprise.
“Zhao Yunlan—,” Shen Wei starts, but he doesn’t really know where he’s going with the sentence. There is nothing he wants to do more than join Zhao Yunlan in bed, and with the pleading gaze fixed on him, he can’t remember the myriads of reasons why he shouldn’t.
“Please,” Zhao Yunlan adds when Shen Wei stays frozen with indecision for too long, and Shen Wei deflates.
There is nothing he wouldn’t do for Zhao Yunlan.
“Scoot over,” Shen Wei instructs as he bends down to undo his laces, almost kicking off his shoes with impatience, and going by the amused look on Zhao Yunlan’s face, he will be teased about this mercilessly later.
Zhao Yunlan makes space for him in the bed, and Shen Wei only hesitates for a second before he slides under the covers. He doesn’t know how he will keep the proper distance between them after this, but when Zhao Yunlan pulls him close by his waist, rests his head on Shen Wei’s shoulder and presses a lingering kiss to his throat, he figures maybe he doesn’t have to.
“Wanted to have you here for a long time,” Zhao Yunlan mutters, sleep clearly already tugging at him and Shen Wei hides his helpless smile in his hair.
“All you had to do was ask,” he tells him lowly, gathering him closer in his arms and reveling in the way Zhao Yunlan goes boneless against him.
Shen Wei closes his eyes, concentrating on the weight of Zhao Yunlan half on top of him, his warmth seeping in against his side, the soft sound of his breaths tickling the skin at his throat. For the first time in way too long, Shen Wei feels at peace.
He doesn’t know who drifts off first but they both do it with a smile on their faces.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-18 07:40 pm (UTC)